BIRTHDAY RALLY

K. L. Jamison

We have held rallies in Jefferson City since 1992. Last year it was a celebration of License to Carry going into effect. This year it was a birthday party for License To Carry; and a happy birthday it was.

In the past we had distributed orange nuts to remind our elected representatives that the gun nuts were back. As this occasion was a birthday party, we opted for cake, birthday cards and cupcakes instead. The cake was for our people; the cards and cupcakes were for distribution to the various politicians in the building. Five hundred cupcakes were purchased, on the theory that they would be easier to carry than a piece of cake (a piece of cake is not as easy as it sounds). The birthday cards were orange and proclaimed “Happy Birthday License To Carry”. On the reverse they advised that after a year of legal carry, not one of the horrors predicted by opponents has occurred, “Missouri has shown them”.

The plan was to have a variety of speakers qualified to speak on current and future legislative developments. There is an old military maxim that no plan ever survives contact with the enemy. This maxim applies to rallies in Jefferson City. Governor Matt Blunt had become a father a few hours before and thought that his place was with his wife, rather than with us. Many of the Governor’s decisions have been criticized, but not this one.

Retired Senator Harold Caskey, the founder of our LTC law was to speak, but had a death in the family. NRA Director (and MSSA President) Dave Jones was to appear, but had a conflicting invitation from Vice President Cheney. Greg Jeffries of Gateway Civil Liberties Alliance was to share his unparalleled knowledge of the Capital Building and its denizens, but his job decided that he needed to stay at work. Tim Oliver was to report on the Legal Defense Fund, but came down with the flu. The Missouri Friends of the GOA representative also came down with flu, indicating that there are weapons of mass destruction; they are just not where we thought they were.

When no fragment of a plan survives it is time to improvise brilliantly. As master of ceremonies, I improvised; brilliantly or not, I leave to others.

Speaker of the House Rod Jetton was the lead speaker. The House had just passed a bill to correct the funding language in the LTC law. We had not expected the bill to go through without hostile amendments and were pleasantly surprised. Other members of the legislature had promised to attend, but could only pass through and wave or not attend at all. It seems that the current regime in Jefferson City insists on getting some work out of our representatives.

Rosemary Wilhelm of the National Wild Turkey Federation (www.nwtf.org) spoke on the NRA program, Women in the Outdoors. This program has women teaching other women to enjoy the outdoor sports, including shooting if desired. She also spoke on the yearling right for women to defend themselves.

No birthday party is without presents. Aside from the successful law we all gave ourselves, door prizes had been gathered by GCLA from various businesses. A lengthy drawing gave rally participants prizes ranging from bumper stickers to a digital camera. It would have been better to sprinkle these drawings between the speakers brilliant improvision would have managed that. After the presents there was cake. There was a single candle for the occasion, and a smoker was recruited to provide the fire mission. WMSA Vice President Sheila Stokes-Begley was quickest on the draw. Another participant led us in a chorus of “Happy Birthday to You”, and yet another blew out the candle. People did not simply attend our rally; they participated. Cutting the cake called for some prior planning. A cake knife was the logical choice, but a knife is always considered to be a weapon, and weapons are banned from government buildings. One would think that exceptions would be made for a cake knife, but this was the building that forced us to remove a display of 170 year old Hawken rifles from one of our rallies; Hawken rifles from which the percussion nipples had been removed. I finally decided on a rubber spatula. If I thought about it, I would think of a way to use it as a weapon, but no one could prove I thought about it, and some would testify that I never think.

I called for a volunteer to take a cupcake and birthday card to the office of Secretary of State Robin Carnahan. Despite her history of opposing our people, she campaigned as the Second Amendment candidate for the office. If she was going to claim us, she should celebrate with us. I immediately got my volunteer, and many more. From later reports it seems that a steady stream of cupcakes were delivered to her increasingly perplexed staff. Aside from being perplexed, there was a degree of paranoia; for the remainder of the day the only office with a Capital Policeman in it was the Secretary of State’s office.

The cards and cupcakes made us noticeable, and a good time was had by all. However, there were problems. The cake and cupcakes were supposed to be orange, the gun safety color, they were not, but no one complained. The turnout for the rally was light, very light. This was expected. We cannot have a decent turnout every year, and this year we did not have a crucial or threatening piece of legislation moving. Getting a hundred people to come out when there is no highly motivating legislation is a tribute to our organization. One of the organizations invited to the rally was collecting donations. This group had been told in previous years that the Capital’s Facility Manager interpreted the rules as forbidding any type of collection on the premises. This will require more coordination next year. I was also informed that food and drink are prohibited in the Rotunda of the Capital. Such a prohibition did not occur to me, as I have seen food served on other levels. There is a set of rules for the Rotunda and we shall have to go over them for next year.

There will be a rally next year. We have held these rallies when there was reason for hope and when there was no hope. We held a rally this year in part to prove that we will never go away. Next year or the year after or ten years after that when we want to pass or stop a bill, the legislators will remember that we will never give up, never go away, and we will win.